I’m actually on campus writing this post. Its weird, the library is so much quieter, I can only see two other people on this floor with me, and they’re not social distancing. I came to campus not only because of my class I have later today, but I really needed to catch up on school work. Ive been so behind, don’t you guys agree? A lot of professors have been giving out one chapter a day vs one chapter a week. Do I consider it unfair? Yes. Do I think that they are over compensating themselves with the amount of work being given out? Totally. Will that change anything? Probably not. I’ve been so out of it. My mental health health has been declining slowly over the past month.
LET’S GET VULNERABLE…
REAL QUICK!
Some of you may not know this about me, but I actually am homeless. Ive been couch surfing for two years. Right now I am stying with my fiancé’s and his parents but even they’re starting to make me feel like a burden. I mean I don’t blame them imagine your son brings home a lost puppy but this time they brought a whole human! It really has contributed towards my self worth, because anything I seem to do isn’t good enough. In-laws, am I right? It has decreased y rate of productivity and I used to invest all that emotional energy into schoolwork but now that its online it doesn’t seem fun anymore. It’s like the negative emotion Ive been feeling from them has intercepted in every room in the house. So I lock myself in my fiancé’s room hoping I don have to deal with any of them. My friends are distant. Usually. I’m the friend that contributes to therputic/venting conversations. However, where are they when I need fixing? I again, don’t blame them because what can they really say? As rude as it may sound, I don’t quite care that they are their for me? It just seems like filler or what you should be saying to someone going through rough patch.
I’m okay guys! Trust me, I have MDD and BPD so these moods/episodes is my norm. COVID-19 sucks huh?
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Wow, as a person who struggles with DID and BPD that really spoke to me. I also was couch surfing my freshmen and sophomore years of college. You are surely never a burden thank you for sharing that with us! You’re so strong! I adore you for this.
Hi Mariam,
I was honestly not ready for that level of vulnerability. I thought you were going to say something like you hated pineapple on pizza or some other monstrosity. I’m glad, however, that you felt comfortable enough to share this with us. Also if you ever want to talk to someone, I have an open dm policy so feel free to message me whenever.
Best,
Sharifa
Mariam, Sharifa and Sam have pretty much wrote what I was thinking (except for the pineapple pizza part:- . If you need that space to be heard, let us know. Right now, it is about taking it one day at a time.