What am I grateful for this year?

For many, this was a horrible year. It certainly was for me. But in the midst of everything terrible, one could find a silver lining–––something to be grateful for and maybe even something to celebrate. 

I find it hard to make space for gratitude during all this, but I know gratitude is necessary for individual and collective resilience. It is in the spirit of resilience that I will practice gratitude.

For one, I am grateful for my family, especially my sister. I’m grateful that my sister took care of our family for so long, and I’m glad that she continues to take care of us, even during all the grief from my mother’s passing. I am grateful that she is patient. When I was younger, I supported my family for some time, but she has done so for much longer. I felt tremendously burdened, and I feared I would be permanently stuck and unable to accomplish the typical milestones that might lead to a better life: graduating college, time for self-reflection and discovery, etc. My sister feels the same way, and sacrificed even more of her time and opportunity to do what I couldn’t continue to do. I’m grateful that she doesn’t make me feel bad for that. 

I’m grateful for my partner that helped me through all the turmoil and provided care and support, even though it’s difficult for me to be present.

I’m grateful to be embedded is such thoughtful and empathetic communities, like our peer leaders. In a time where I’m not as social as I used to be and the circumstances physically separate us further, having such a community is a respite from the harshness of life. I’m grateful my community is a respite from some of the monotony of my other employment and academic pursuits and provides patience and nurturing while other spaces are unforgiving. But it is more than just a protective bubble; community can also be rejuvenating. I’m glad to be a part of such a community because it reorients my journey to cultivate a higher purpose and calling. 

I’m grateful to have life’s essentials. I’m grateful to have the base layers of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I’m reflexively dissatisfied with any linear model–––somehow, it does not sound right that all of humanity’s insecurities would exclude most from self-actualizing, and is there any way to self-actualize without a collective?–––but as a practical matter, it’s much easier for me to focus on those higher order needs when I have stable shelter, food, and water. 

But I guess, most of all I’m glad this year is finally over. And I’m grateful for a new start. On to 2021.

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