Despite the frustrating halt many of my peers have experienced during these apocalyptic times, for me it seems that my opportunities are bursting at the seams. It is a great feeling, I work hard and can often be overly-critical of myself. But at the same time, I worry that I’ll be spreading myself too thin: my life has always been a rather violent swing between laziness and high-productivity, between needing time to “relax” and diving deep into the history of the world, which can often be cyclically brutal leading to feelings of despair and disheartenment about the fate of the world. But the world and its history can also be a magnificent place–one of peaceful cultural, ideological and religious exchange; this and working my way back to the origins of humanity keeps me perpetually interested, even to a scatter-brained fault sometimes.
Keeping up with classes seems even harder these days– because we are conducting much of our lives at home, it seems that many professors equate that with free-time, and therefore more time for more work (go figure). Starting my first masters-level class exacerbates my work-load but luckily, though it’s been tough to keep up with everything, I am in fact still vibing. I’m currently learning about early American history and the *French Revolution* (and I highlight that because I am skeptical about the content we have been subjected to so far); not quite in my fields of interest but, hey, whatayagonnado? My masters-level class, though it was off on a pretty rough start, has surprised me with reigniting a dormant interest in early modern Mediterranean history. This somewhat has reignited my faith in a once bright and flourishing world — despite all its short-comings — and for this I am grateful, especially during these desperate times. Though our Mediterranean unit will soon be over, I plan to dive deeper into this era with any *free-time* I may have. While I’m still struggling to find a rhythm and balance which will maintain my sanity among all my tasks, I again am grateful for the gems of reading, the mentors and professors I have this semester who have been worst reasonable and at best guiding lights.
Finally, I am excited to start shaping my project for the CUNY Peer Leader Program. I can say beyond doubt, that I would not be who I am today without the writings of Frantz Fanon. I first bought his book Wretched of the Earth in Fall of 2017. A professor then told me before reading it, I should read his first book which was originally supposed to be his doctoral thesis, Black Skin White Masks. My life changed from there and I am eternally in his debt. With this project, I hope that I can contribute to fields of scholarship but also of everyday thought, both of which he was dedicated to, that uplift his writings and uphold him as a pioneer of liberation of individual, nation and humanity from the domination of oppression and destitution. Again, I can be super insecure about anything I create, and my worst fear is doing Fanon dirty; but I also know that I dedicate so much of my time to understanding his words and thoughts, and that I am capable of creating something worthy and inspiriting to his body of works.