When I was eleven, I used to believe that being such a dreamer was a curse. Those echoes of people telling me, “the world is not as rosy as you think, Bela” and “you’ll only frustrate yourself with such dreams,” still resonate in my mind. These words came from those closest to me—my family. Looking back, I now understand they were simply trying to protect me. My dreams, through the eyes of adults who grasped my background, appeared impossible. But as a child, I couldn’t see that.
That’s why I realize today that the first step to fulfilling my passions is indeed allowing myself to dream like a child.
So, I am a dreamer, perhaps one of the most idealistic dreamers I’ve ever met. When it comes to dreams and aspirations, I could fill a book with all the things I aspired to achieve as I grew up. I’m happy to say that the dreams that have endured over time, I’ve either accomplished or am on my way to achieving. I take these dreams very seriously, sometimes even too seriously.
In terms of my career, I’ve idealized various professions: a nurse, a lawyer, a teacher, a ballerina, the president, even a Hollywood star. While it’s true that I’ve been passionate about writing since I was ten and have penned around seven books in Portuguese between the ages of 12 and 16, my choice to pursue a writing career goes deeper.
Writing became my chosen path because it aligns with my burning desire to make the world a better place. Initially, I aimed to be involved in politics, but I understood that required knowledge, a network, and experience I couldn’t acquire at just 18. So, I opted for what I’d been doing my whole life—something I excelled at and needed only to refine: writing. I taught myself English to reach a broader audience and intend to use my writing to give voice to those who’ve never had one.
But that’s just the beginning. I’ve shared all this to emphasize that I’m aware of my passions, and claiming that writing is the sole one would be a monumental lie. I can’t predict my future career because I’ve come to understand that change is the most natural and vital process that occurs in everyone’s life. I’m not the same person I was just yesterday, let alone a few years ago. It’s unrealistic to expect me to have followed a single path all these years, especially considering my many passions. While I’m currently committed to writing, I firmly believe that we should remain flexible enough to pursue our passions throughout the years, no matter how many different professions we may explore along the way. I’m both anxious and excited to see what life has in store.
However, there’s one constant in my aspirations: I’ve always wanted to be a wife and a mother. I understand that when I mention this, people often react less favorably than I’d hope.
It’s indeed disheartening that in today’s society, it’s considered natural and encouraged to decide on a lifelong profession between the ages of 16 to late 25, but it’s often not as accepted to desire the fundamental foundations of love and family, which are arguably the most important thing in life.
It’s a pity, really.
What I haven’t mentioned is that every book I’ve written has been a romance. I’ve dreamt of love for as long as I can remember, despite never being surrounded by happy couples. My parents and family aren’t content in their relationships, and my friends’ experiences aren’t much different. The few couples I know with seemingly content marriages are frequently told it’s because they don’t have children. That’s the reality I’ve grown up with and witnessed in my young life.
Yet, nothing and no one can shake my unyielding belief that true love exists. I’ve been waiting for it my entire life, and I have an indomitable feeling that I will find it.
To me, there’s nothing more aspirational in life than a family—my family.
To conclude, if you were to ask me about my aspirations for the future, I could share a multitude of my dreams. Perhaps I’ll become a professor at a CUNY college, or maybe I’ll become a best-selling author. It’s possible I’ll even establish my own publishing house or write scripts for Hollywood.
But one thing I’m absolutely certain about is that I’ll be focused on love—preparing for my family and breaking the cycle of generational trauma by proving that a loving marriage is possible. I want my children to grow up with the unwavering belief that love exists out there, if you’re brave enough to embrace it.
I’m content in my rosy world.
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