All throughout high school I was very set on my possible career choice, universities, and potential programs. Knowing all of this set me apart from other students in my class. I was looked at by teachers as someone who had it figured out and they wouldn’t be surprised if things played out for me the way I had planned.
I was confident in where I was going, I didn’t think things could go wrong. I didn’t think that I would be the student that switches their major multiple times, the one who misses a semester, fails classes, or take longer than four years to complete undergrad. This may sound cocky, but I promise it isn’t, I just didn’t think that I would struggle as much as I have.
Thinking of my future now scares me because I think of all the things I have messed up and how I didn’t take my planned path. How could I think of my future being a good one if I didn’t continue to be the student everyone knew me as? How could I reach for more when I barely did good with what was in front of me? These are thoughts that I am slowly making my way through as I ease back into being a student this semester after being off for the Spring 2023 term. As I figure my way through these questions that come into my mind, one thing that I have learned is this:
It is okay to not be who people once knew you as. We are people who must grow, be different, and move on.
With each day, I see myself moving through those questions and not beating myself up anymore. I see the days clearing up and feeling that I can look to the future without being fearful of not seeing something good for myself. It takes time, only if you take it one day at a time.