I guess I am an expert (that still has a lot to learn) at Improving. I have a lot of hobbies. That is just something that someone with ADHD might have since I’m constantly changing my interests based on what’s on my TikTok FYP or what I’m currently watching. Two hobbies that have been extremely consistent are art and writing. Some of my friends and family who have seen my work think that I’m an expert, but I can’t call myself an expert with confidence, because I find myself constantly comparing my work with others. It’s a ruthless case of Imposter Syndrome, that affects more people than I would’ve thought. Even knowing this, I still can’t say I’m an expert because there’s a lot that I don’t know and can’t yet do. I originally wanted to say that I’m an expert at learning but that wouldn’t be exactly right because most of the information I learn is locked away in the deep recesses of my brain, and I don’t always go out of my way to learn.
Something I am good at is improving. Recently I took a look at one of my first drawings and I cringed, remembering how good I thought it was, but then I looked at the work I do now, which isn’t perfect but looks so much closer to the art I want to produce. I did the same with my writing, I took an idea that I’ve been developing since High School and am fine-tuning that idea so that I can write a novel. When I first read through the old synopsis and sketches I almost died of embarrassment, but I knew there was a solid foundation for the idea and knew that I can build on that idea and make it into something I can be proud of. I compare the first first chapter and the current first chapter and character designs and see a huge improvement. The storyline is more coherent and the characters have so much more depth and diversity.
Improving also applies to my mental health as well, while I can’t say my depression and anxiety are cured, I can say that I’m in a better place mentally than I was four years ago. Something I always see myself doing is improving whether it’s: make-up, my sense of fashion, my art, my writing, my cooking, my gaming; it’s something that I can see, it’s something that doesn’t require skill or talent, it’s something that’s measured by myself. It’s something that I can say with confidence that I am an expert on.
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