A Lot of Nothing

September 30th

9:02pm

I’m supposed to write a blog today!

Correction today is the last day I CAN write my blog.
When did they tell me about this again?

It doesn’t even matter.

You said you wouldn’t procrastinate this time …

What were you doing yesterday?

You just barely finished that essay yesterday.

I wonder what my grade will be for that essay?

What else do you have to do today?

Weren’t you supposed to study for that test tomorrow?

Test? What test?

Oh, THAT test. The math test.

That math test TOMORROW.

Oh no …

9:29pm

Wait, what was I doing again?

Oh right, a blog post.

About?

Lemme check my email.

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding*

Who could possibly be texting me at this time?

My boss.

My boss?!

What does he want?

… What’d I do?!

Can’t I just answer tomorrow?

I have something ELSE to do …

9:45pm

*Signs into email*

What do I search now?

Cuny?

Nope.

Leaders?

Nope.

Future?

Nope.

I can’t find it.

It’s not here.

If it’s not here, then where is it?

I know I read that email …

9:57pm

*Ding*

*Ding*

*Ding*

It’s my boss again.

22,000 shipped to who?!

No no no.

They’re on hold!

I told you guys they were on hold.

Right?

Let me find that email …

Wait weren’t you just looking for an email?

For what again?

Oh yea, I have to submit a blog.

*Ding*

*Ding*

That’s it.

Mute your phone Saranel.

THE BLOG POST.

Finally, here’s the email!

Now to think of something to write.

It must be …

Something influential.

Something poetic.

Something captivating.

Something …

 10:17pm

*doorbell rings*

Oh, that must be my food!

Let me go get that.

Food?

Kitchen?

That reminds me …

Right, I still have to wash the dishes.

I told myself I would answer the prompt but prior to even finding it I opened an empty document and just began to type away. So instead for my submission I chose to spend some time writing down what it’s like in my head for about an hour or so. As you can tell, it’s all over the place. No organization. No clear path. No grip. An endless stream of questions and a growing mountain of things to do. Is there a right way to balance all of life’s details? Have I simply not have found that way yet? Or is there no way? Is life meant to always be overwhelmingly challenging?

This feels long and draining now that I read it back.

So here’s the bright side after writing this, I get to stuff my face and go to sleep. Then there’s always tomorrow 🙂

One thought on “A Lot of Nothing

  1. Lauren Melendez

    Hi Saranel,
    Although your post is entitled: “A lot of Nothing” there is quite a lot going on! It seems like what you find challenging (which was what the blog prompt) seems to be finding structure and order with all the responsibilities and tasks you have taken on in your life. Even with your thoughts being all over the place you have made it this far and have made it into college, even this program and managed to post your blog by the deadline. That tells me you are able to navigate it all some sort of way and I look forward to seeing what that process is like for you as the program continues and if anything changes for you on this journey.

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